Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Monday, December 28, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Hey Girls!!! Come see how Cute I am!!!
I'll be doing some entertaining Wednesday July 22nd at FIZZ...
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Experience: Being Awesome!
I need a job. The lack of accomplishment is starting to get to me. I mean I need a real job. I want to have to get to work on time and have a dress code with key cards and id badges. I want to have to clock in and clock out. I haven’t officially had an occupation in a little over 4 months and I’m pretty disappointed. I don’t think I’ve been this disappointed in myself since I lost to Sylvester Stallone arm wrestling at the end of the movie Over The Top. I’m kidding…That wasn’t really me, I would’ve only been 5 years old. To young to even enter an arm wrestling competition, yet old enough to know that turning your hat backwards before you arm wrestle someone doesn’t do shit. Besides arm wrestling is stupid and doesn’t prove anything other than the fact that the person who usually wins has a longer forearm; and that’s just because of physics. And even that doesn’t change the fact that I don’t have a job and am not nearly as successful as I should be by this age.
It’s not like I’m not trying. I come up with ideas and inventions all the time. People just steal my ideas, or also come up with them. I just don’t have the means or contacts to facilitate them, forcing me to need to find a day job, which I have yet to find. I’ve been looking too. I been going out to try and find a job in person, as well as I’ve also adapted to searching on the internet, which in all honesty, is bullshit. You see, I’ve been on Hotjobs, Monster, even Career Builder (which incidentally should be called Regret Builder, because the more jobs I find on there, the more lists of qualifications I find out I don’t have, which makes me realize how unproductive my life has been thus far). They’ll list things like “Desired Experience”, “Required Qualifications”, “We’d prefer someone with a Bachelors Degree”. Yea, I’d prefer to have super powers and not need a day job, we don’t always get what we want, so why don’t we compromise, you hire my ass, and I’ll learn to do what you hired me to do. See that’s my big problem. I have the ability learn how to do things. Most importantly I have the ability to figure out how to do them easier and with the least amount of effort on my part. I call it Efficiency. And that my friends, doesn’t mean a damn thing to employers. It’s not like you can send them a resume that says “Experience: 27 years of efficiently taking the easy way out”. Nope, they want to see the phrase “Efficiency Expert” followed by a list of reputable jobs. Of which, I have Zero. You see, my current resume is pretty much meaningless to any job that I could stomach and enjoy working at. The only experience I have is in “Job Hunting.”
I’m serious. My current resume literally laterally sucks. It doesn’t progress in a forward motion toward my hopes and dreams. It moves down and sideways like a WonkaVator. My resume is like the Superman Movies or even the Matrix Trilogy. It starts off great, but gets shittier as you continue to read. And it’s not like someone’s out to get me, it’s my own fault really, and I’ve come to accept this. I’ve also come to accept the fact that I may…. Be subconsciously sabotaging my life. Perhaps, it’s my sense of humor and creativity that doesn’t get hired in the first place. And to me this doesn’t make a lick of sense, considering most jobs, list “Sense of Humor’ as a requirement. So I apply my sense of humor to my resumes, and something tells me, the human resources departments don’t find my antics hilarious.
Take for example American Apparel. I applied to work as a sales representative at the local store. Along with my resume they needed to see that I dressed ‘Stylish’ and ‘Trendy’. So I attached 2 photos of myself and Jpeg of Teen Wolf playing basketball. Or even Whole Foods. They asked what kind of experience I had. So logically, I put that I could eat a whole pizza in one sitting.
Now, I do have 2 years of professional driving experience( I once delivered auto parts, as well as have worked as an executive driver for a college carting around the execs and guest speakers). So it astonished me when I was in interview for a position as a Bakery delivery driver that I was asked if I had any other driving experience….really?!
For one, I’m 27 years old…so I said: ”Uh…yeah..12 years of it. I’m also really good at Mario Kart. And I also once made the Kessel Run in less than 12 Parsecs.”
He responded “12 parsecs…is that fast?”
“Fast?!!” I responded,”More like Efficient”. “A parsec is a measure of distance, not time, asshole, and I can clearly see your wasting mine.” And I honestly don’t think I could work for someone who doesn’t see that I’m clearly over qualified to be a bakery delivery driver… So I walked out.
That’s the thing too.. They say it’s “Not about who you know, it’s who knows you…” and this is true. However I know a lot of people, and a lot of people know me, and I’m still in the same predicament…
They say it’s all about “Net Working”. Sadly for me,it’s “Not Working”.
Everyone I meet and inquire about a job always ask “well..what can you do?”. I can do a lot of things. “Well, what would you want to do?” Honestly? I’d like to get paid a lot, for doing very little. Kind of like all these scientists. I’ll get paid to do research on shit that will just be contradicted 2 years later.
Fun Fact: I think carbon dating is a bunch of bullshit….it’s one of those “The emperor has no clothes” types of things. Nobody wants to speak up on how absurd of an idea it is.
I could easily be a scientist. I mean seriously, how hard can it be? Just think of an idea, and get paid grant money to prove or disprove it with inventions and mathematical equations I invent myself. I could do that. I mean seriously, every day somewhere in the news is some hypothesis that some research team came up with and solved, that just ends up being contradicted later on by a rival research team.
Shit, listen to this absurdity.. I read this one article that mentioned that scientists in Europe have done a test regarding the correlation of “the direction your hair grows on the back of your head”. I’m serious, it stated that like 70% of people born with hair growing counter clock wise end up growing up to be gay. So Right now, I want everyone to look in a mirror, and let’s play a game I like to call “Who’s keeping a Secret?”
That’s got to be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard…and I’ve heard a lot. It shows that obviously there are no prerequisites to being a research scientist. Some of the things they come up with are so stupid. Some things are just stupid to even be messing with..Cloning is one thing that kind of scares me. Haven’t any of them seen Blade Runner or Star Wars Attack of the Clones? Some things are not meant to be messed with in my opinion. Acting like they have it all figured out while they try and open a box and learn from it’s contents.. Hey Lazlo, Pandora was curious too. Haven’t you read that story? “Hey let’s build a giant tube in france and collide atoms that nobody can see anyways trying to re-enact the Big Bang and learn from it”. Yea.. good idea.. Spend billions of dollars on an expensive replica of Marble Madness when you could be studying the ocean. Am I the only one who secretly hoped they would accidently create a black hole or dimensional portal. All of a sudden there’s a flash of light and a Giant Dragon just sitting there looking at the scientists…”Um…Steve…do you see what I see..?” “If you’re referring to the giant dragon.. then yes…I think we’re fucked”. And the dragon would just be like…”yes, you are” Because obviously, it would be a talking dragon who is extremely pissed off at that fact that he’s going to miss tonight’s episode of LOST. Which in itself is another topic….
It’s not like I’m not trying. I come up with ideas and inventions all the time. People just steal my ideas, or also come up with them. I just don’t have the means or contacts to facilitate them, forcing me to need to find a day job, which I have yet to find. I’ve been looking too. I been going out to try and find a job in person, as well as I’ve also adapted to searching on the internet, which in all honesty, is bullshit. You see, I’ve been on Hotjobs, Monster, even Career Builder (which incidentally should be called Regret Builder, because the more jobs I find on there, the more lists of qualifications I find out I don’t have, which makes me realize how unproductive my life has been thus far). They’ll list things like “Desired Experience”, “Required Qualifications”, “We’d prefer someone with a Bachelors Degree”. Yea, I’d prefer to have super powers and not need a day job, we don’t always get what we want, so why don’t we compromise, you hire my ass, and I’ll learn to do what you hired me to do. See that’s my big problem. I have the ability learn how to do things. Most importantly I have the ability to figure out how to do them easier and with the least amount of effort on my part. I call it Efficiency. And that my friends, doesn’t mean a damn thing to employers. It’s not like you can send them a resume that says “Experience: 27 years of efficiently taking the easy way out”. Nope, they want to see the phrase “Efficiency Expert” followed by a list of reputable jobs. Of which, I have Zero. You see, my current resume is pretty much meaningless to any job that I could stomach and enjoy working at. The only experience I have is in “Job Hunting.”
I’m serious. My current resume literally laterally sucks. It doesn’t progress in a forward motion toward my hopes and dreams. It moves down and sideways like a WonkaVator. My resume is like the Superman Movies or even the Matrix Trilogy. It starts off great, but gets shittier as you continue to read. And it’s not like someone’s out to get me, it’s my own fault really, and I’ve come to accept this. I’ve also come to accept the fact that I may…. Be subconsciously sabotaging my life. Perhaps, it’s my sense of humor and creativity that doesn’t get hired in the first place. And to me this doesn’t make a lick of sense, considering most jobs, list “Sense of Humor’ as a requirement. So I apply my sense of humor to my resumes, and something tells me, the human resources departments don’t find my antics hilarious.
Take for example American Apparel. I applied to work as a sales representative at the local store. Along with my resume they needed to see that I dressed ‘Stylish’ and ‘Trendy’. So I attached 2 photos of myself and Jpeg of Teen Wolf playing basketball. Or even Whole Foods. They asked what kind of experience I had. So logically, I put that I could eat a whole pizza in one sitting.
Now, I do have 2 years of professional driving experience( I once delivered auto parts, as well as have worked as an executive driver for a college carting around the execs and guest speakers). So it astonished me when I was in interview for a position as a Bakery delivery driver that I was asked if I had any other driving experience….really?!
For one, I’m 27 years old…so I said: ”Uh…yeah..12 years of it. I’m also really good at Mario Kart. And I also once made the Kessel Run in less than 12 Parsecs.”
He responded “12 parsecs…is that fast?”
“Fast?!!” I responded,”More like Efficient”. “A parsec is a measure of distance, not time, asshole, and I can clearly see your wasting mine.” And I honestly don’t think I could work for someone who doesn’t see that I’m clearly over qualified to be a bakery delivery driver… So I walked out.
That’s the thing too.. They say it’s “Not about who you know, it’s who knows you…” and this is true. However I know a lot of people, and a lot of people know me, and I’m still in the same predicament…
They say it’s all about “Net Working”. Sadly for me,it’s “Not Working”.
Everyone I meet and inquire about a job always ask “well..what can you do?”. I can do a lot of things. “Well, what would you want to do?” Honestly? I’d like to get paid a lot, for doing very little. Kind of like all these scientists. I’ll get paid to do research on shit that will just be contradicted 2 years later.
Fun Fact: I think carbon dating is a bunch of bullshit….it’s one of those “The emperor has no clothes” types of things. Nobody wants to speak up on how absurd of an idea it is.
I could easily be a scientist. I mean seriously, how hard can it be? Just think of an idea, and get paid grant money to prove or disprove it with inventions and mathematical equations I invent myself. I could do that. I mean seriously, every day somewhere in the news is some hypothesis that some research team came up with and solved, that just ends up being contradicted later on by a rival research team.
Shit, listen to this absurdity.. I read this one article that mentioned that scientists in Europe have done a test regarding the correlation of “the direction your hair grows on the back of your head”. I’m serious, it stated that like 70% of people born with hair growing counter clock wise end up growing up to be gay. So Right now, I want everyone to look in a mirror, and let’s play a game I like to call “Who’s keeping a Secret?”
That’s got to be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard…and I’ve heard a lot. It shows that obviously there are no prerequisites to being a research scientist. Some of the things they come up with are so stupid. Some things are just stupid to even be messing with..Cloning is one thing that kind of scares me. Haven’t any of them seen Blade Runner or Star Wars Attack of the Clones? Some things are not meant to be messed with in my opinion. Acting like they have it all figured out while they try and open a box and learn from it’s contents.. Hey Lazlo, Pandora was curious too. Haven’t you read that story? “Hey let’s build a giant tube in france and collide atoms that nobody can see anyways trying to re-enact the Big Bang and learn from it”. Yea.. good idea.. Spend billions of dollars on an expensive replica of Marble Madness when you could be studying the ocean. Am I the only one who secretly hoped they would accidently create a black hole or dimensional portal. All of a sudden there’s a flash of light and a Giant Dragon just sitting there looking at the scientists…”Um…Steve…do you see what I see..?” “If you’re referring to the giant dragon.. then yes…I think we’re fucked”. And the dragon would just be like…”yes, you are” Because obviously, it would be a talking dragon who is extremely pissed off at that fact that he’s going to miss tonight’s episode of LOST. Which in itself is another topic….
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Two Kinds of People...Part 1.
This will be a new on going thing that I had once prior, only this is a remake of what I have done in the past... Yes, it's o.k. to plagerize oneself.
Over the course of the last 2 weeks, I've learned that there are typically 2 kinds/types of people. People that either cause enjoyment or dislike or distaste or the use of 'or' once more in this sentence. Below I have included a few examples.
There are 2 kinds of people:
There are those that save their money and those that spend their money.
There are those that look like they do drugs, and then there are those(like myself) who looks like his parents were the ones doing the drugs.
There are those people who stop singing once 'Happy Birthday' is finished, and then there are those people who feel the need to continue singing other ricockulous birthday themed songs preventing me from partaking in the cake and ice cream consumption at that given moment. Hey, People Singing! Stop! Nobody likes when you sing that "How old are you song" We get it. We know how old they are! It says on the fraking cake. Didn't you bother to look at it? SHUT UP! Let the birthday person blow out the damn candles, perhaps they are trick candles which will result hysterics. Stop please, I'm quite hungry and that Superman Ice cream looks delicious..
Lastly,
There are people who are good drivers, and then there are those who are bad drivers.
Now, you're probably saying, "Razzle, there are quite a few different types of bad drivers" and this is true. There are the Teenagers, Women, Blacks, Old Black Women, Chinese, and the punk rockers with mohawks so tall they need to tilt the seat back and drive with there head cocked to the side so they're hawk won't get smashed. Yeah, That's real punk rock fellas, I love punk music, I used to be in a punk band, but something about waking up 2 hours early and having 3 people assist you with your hair so you can show up to the Warped Tour with a perfect hairstyle seems to contradict everything Punk Rock is about. I suggest going with a shorter one that you can manage on your own.
Anyways, these are the bunch.. but that's not my intention in this posting..
You see, those above are just the bottom feeders of an Amway Pyramid Geneological Driving Tree that stems from 3 main sorces.
The Foundation and Cause of all Bad Driving results from these 3 demographics:
- Middle age women (Lagers) who endlessly put on make up while talking on the cell phone most likely about all of their stupid plush stuffed animals they have sitting on the dashboard while their Catholic Crown sits all alone in the back window aside from there Garfield doll from '93 suctioned cupped to the back window.
- The old people with Cokebottle glasses that are sitting on a phonebook, with the wheel blocking there vision and a bubble compass the size of a soupbowl mounted on their dashboard.
And last but not least,
- People with some sort of Religious Bumper sticker pasted somewhere on their automobile. You could be the best driver in the world, but once your car gets tagged with a religious sticker its all down hill. I don't care if you're a Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddist, or Satan Worshiper, they cause horrible driving. You could be an Athiest with a sticker that reads "I don't believe in a god" stuck to the bumper, and 99% of the time, you'll also 'Not Believe in Obeying the Rules of the Road'.
I was driving one time, and seen someone in a car with a sticker that read 'Buda is my co-pilot'. First of all, No he's not. He wouldn't be able to fit in the passenger seat of your mini-cooper let alone buckle up. Besides the fact that I'm pretty sure Buda believed in giving pedestrians the right of way instead of trying to plow them down with your impression of 'The Italian Job'. I also seen one car who refused to use their blinker with a sticker that said, "Jesus Drives This Prius". I mean seriously, if Jesus is really driving it should read "Jesus Drives a Prius Badly". I mean really, he can walk on water, turn water into wine, but doesn't know how to use his turn signal? Perhaps Jesus is driving the Prius, however he just left a wedding where he consumed massive amounts of water turned into wine and decided he'd leave early... But then I thought about it further and came to the conclusion that he wouldn't be driving a Prius at all. Jesus was a carpenter... He would most likely drive an 1987 Chevy S-10. Perhaps even with a bumper sticker that reads "No Fat Chicks"... Sorry ladies, looks like no heaven for you... Wait a minute... Perhaps it didn't mean Jesus as in our savior, but 'Jesus' as in "Hey Zues" and that would totally make sense, because Zues was a closet gay. And in my experience, so are Priuses.
Tell your friends.
Razzle*
www.TheRazzleShow.com
Over the course of the last 2 weeks, I've learned that there are typically 2 kinds/types of people. People that either cause enjoyment or dislike or distaste or the use of 'or' once more in this sentence. Below I have included a few examples.
There are 2 kinds of people:
There are those that save their money and those that spend their money.
There are those that look like they do drugs, and then there are those(like myself) who looks like his parents were the ones doing the drugs.
There are those people who stop singing once 'Happy Birthday' is finished, and then there are those people who feel the need to continue singing other ricockulous birthday themed songs preventing me from partaking in the cake and ice cream consumption at that given moment. Hey, People Singing! Stop! Nobody likes when you sing that "How old are you song" We get it. We know how old they are! It says on the fraking cake. Didn't you bother to look at it? SHUT UP! Let the birthday person blow out the damn candles, perhaps they are trick candles which will result hysterics. Stop please, I'm quite hungry and that Superman Ice cream looks delicious..
Lastly,
There are people who are good drivers, and then there are those who are bad drivers.
Now, you're probably saying, "Razzle, there are quite a few different types of bad drivers" and this is true. There are the Teenagers, Women, Blacks, Old Black Women, Chinese, and the punk rockers with mohawks so tall they need to tilt the seat back and drive with there head cocked to the side so they're hawk won't get smashed. Yeah, That's real punk rock fellas, I love punk music, I used to be in a punk band, but something about waking up 2 hours early and having 3 people assist you with your hair so you can show up to the Warped Tour with a perfect hairstyle seems to contradict everything Punk Rock is about. I suggest going with a shorter one that you can manage on your own.
Anyways, these are the bunch.. but that's not my intention in this posting..
You see, those above are just the bottom feeders of an Amway Pyramid Geneological Driving Tree that stems from 3 main sorces.
The Foundation and Cause of all Bad Driving results from these 3 demographics:
- Middle age women (Lagers) who endlessly put on make up while talking on the cell phone most likely about all of their stupid plush stuffed animals they have sitting on the dashboard while their Catholic Crown sits all alone in the back window aside from there Garfield doll from '93 suctioned cupped to the back window.
- The old people with Cokebottle glasses that are sitting on a phonebook, with the wheel blocking there vision and a bubble compass the size of a soupbowl mounted on their dashboard.
And last but not least,
- People with some sort of Religious Bumper sticker pasted somewhere on their automobile. You could be the best driver in the world, but once your car gets tagged with a religious sticker its all down hill. I don't care if you're a Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddist, or Satan Worshiper, they cause horrible driving. You could be an Athiest with a sticker that reads "I don't believe in a god" stuck to the bumper, and 99% of the time, you'll also 'Not Believe in Obeying the Rules of the Road'.
I was driving one time, and seen someone in a car with a sticker that read 'Buda is my co-pilot'. First of all, No he's not. He wouldn't be able to fit in the passenger seat of your mini-cooper let alone buckle up. Besides the fact that I'm pretty sure Buda believed in giving pedestrians the right of way instead of trying to plow them down with your impression of 'The Italian Job'. I also seen one car who refused to use their blinker with a sticker that said, "Jesus Drives This Prius". I mean seriously, if Jesus is really driving it should read "Jesus Drives a Prius Badly". I mean really, he can walk on water, turn water into wine, but doesn't know how to use his turn signal? Perhaps Jesus is driving the Prius, however he just left a wedding where he consumed massive amounts of water turned into wine and decided he'd leave early... But then I thought about it further and came to the conclusion that he wouldn't be driving a Prius at all. Jesus was a carpenter... He would most likely drive an 1987 Chevy S-10. Perhaps even with a bumper sticker that reads "No Fat Chicks"... Sorry ladies, looks like no heaven for you... Wait a minute... Perhaps it didn't mean Jesus as in our savior, but 'Jesus' as in "Hey Zues" and that would totally make sense, because Zues was a closet gay. And in my experience, so are Priuses.
Tell your friends.
Razzle*
www.TheRazzleShow.com
Monday, March 16, 2009
Help Me Buy A Delorean!!
Together we can do this!!
I just need 10,000 Twitteres to donate $2. I figured this would be a cool experiment to try out on such an expanding network of followors and followees.
Here's one on Ebay right now!!
http://tinyurl.com/csms88
They are regularly posted and can usually be purchased for under $20g.
Click this link to DONATE Now!!
I just need 10,000 Twitteres to donate $2. I figured this would be a cool experiment to try out on such an expanding network of followors and followees.
Here's one on Ebay right now!!
http://tinyurl.com/csms88
They are regularly posted and can usually be purchased for under $20g.
Click this link to DONATE Now!!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Hey Lyle Lovett: If I had a Boat & and a Pony.....
I'd sell them both and buy a batmobile, because:
If I had a Batmobile,
I'd Drive it to get Groceries,
and if I bought a Red Bull,
I drink it while I drove.
And I would pick up my friends,
because who wouldn't rather have a batmobile
instead ride a pony and sail a boat.
If I had a Batmobile,
I'd Drive it to get Groceries,
and if I bought a Red Bull,
I drink it while I drove.
And I would pick up my friends,
because who wouldn't rather have a batmobile
instead ride a pony and sail a boat.
Shoe Thrower Fans Untie Online..........I mean Unite.
Shoe Thrower Fans Untie Online..........I mean Unite.
It really isn't anything new though..... Shoe Throwers have been uniting at punk rock concerts such as The Warped Tour for years to throw shoes, wallets, and other various artifacts that are of importance to them getting home.
for more info on the unification of shoeless individuals check out CNN.com:
It really isn't anything new though..... Shoe Throwers have been uniting at punk rock concerts such as The Warped Tour for years to throw shoes, wallets, and other various artifacts that are of importance to them getting home.
for more info on the unification of shoeless individuals check out CNN.com:
Friday, March 13, 2009
Teen hands out thousands of dollars after finding drug money....instead of spending it wisely
I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT A USED DELOREAN....
Teen hands out thousands of dollars after finding drug money
McClatchy-Tribune
4:43 PM CDT, March 12, 2009
MINNEAPOLIS -- A Minnesota teen got to play high roller for a day after finding a plastic bag containing $18,000 in a highway ditch, and he gave away thousands of dollars to classmates on Tuesday before authorities got involved.
Dakota County officials are releasing few details about the source of the money, but they have a pretty compelling clue: When the student, a 16-year-old from Rosemount, Minn., led them back to the spot where he found the money, they discovered 4 pounds of marijuana and some scales.
"This is tied in to drugs, obviously," said Sgt. Joe Leku of the Dakota County Drug Task Force. He would not disclose other details of the case, saying it could jeopardize the investigation.
Investigators learned that a student had been handing out $100 bills when a school bus company reported it to a school resource officer on Tuesday, said Chief Dakota County Deputy David Bellows. The boy had given out thousands of dollars before deputies started going back and collecting the money. They recovered almost all of it, Bellows said.
http://tinyurl.com/c3gyc6
Teen hands out thousands of dollars after finding drug money
McClatchy-Tribune
4:43 PM CDT, March 12, 2009
MINNEAPOLIS -- A Minnesota teen got to play high roller for a day after finding a plastic bag containing $18,000 in a highway ditch, and he gave away thousands of dollars to classmates on Tuesday before authorities got involved.
Dakota County officials are releasing few details about the source of the money, but they have a pretty compelling clue: When the student, a 16-year-old from Rosemount, Minn., led them back to the spot where he found the money, they discovered 4 pounds of marijuana and some scales.
"This is tied in to drugs, obviously," said Sgt. Joe Leku of the Dakota County Drug Task Force. He would not disclose other details of the case, saying it could jeopardize the investigation.
Investigators learned that a student had been handing out $100 bills when a school bus company reported it to a school resource officer on Tuesday, said Chief Dakota County Deputy David Bellows. The boy had given out thousands of dollars before deputies started going back and collecting the money. They recovered almost all of it, Bellows said.
http://tinyurl.com/c3gyc6
Thursday, March 12, 2009
This makes me want to become a Vigilante and pull a Charlie Bronson: Some Autorities are stupid...
These Judges and Cops should be removed of all their limbs. I didn't even know her, but it makes me want to pull a Charlie Bronson from Death Wish.... Yea, the probation and GPS really works for repeat Sex Offenders...lame.... After the 2nd time they should be shot as it is. Let me do it. Shit, I'll charge admission and sell out stadiums faster than Eddie Murphy's MEET DAVE was yanked out of theaters for being so bad.
Think of what that would do to the economy! Let me take Sex Offenders and Murderers on a National Stadium Tour and donate all the ticket proceeds to paying off the ginormous debt we are about to have. And it might actually put fear in the hearts of evil doers if they know they'll be standing 6 feet above Jimmy Hoffa on the pitchers mound of Yankee Stadium while I pull a 'Price is Right' and ask the audience how I should remove this scum from our earthly presence.
Normally I don't get angry, but the sure stupidity of how this repeat offender was handled and just let lose to live in a field often frequented by teens amazes even me... Just when I thought people in power couldn't get stupider...
I posted the article as well as the link...
Razzle*
www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/03/12/sex.offender.gps/index.html
Think of what that would do to the economy! Let me take Sex Offenders and Murderers on a National Stadium Tour and donate all the ticket proceeds to paying off the ginormous debt we are about to have. And it might actually put fear in the hearts of evil doers if they know they'll be standing 6 feet above Jimmy Hoffa on the pitchers mound of Yankee Stadium while I pull a 'Price is Right' and ask the audience how I should remove this scum from our earthly presence.
Normally I don't get angry, but the sure stupidity of how this repeat offender was handled and just let lose to live in a field often frequented by teens amazes even me... Just when I thought people in power couldn't get stupider...
I posted the article as well as the link...
Razzle*
www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/03/12/sex.offender.gps/index.html
Renaming the SEARS TOWER to WILLIS TOWER? WTB? Whatchu Talkin Bout?!?!
March 12, 2009 (CHICAGO) (WLS) -- Chicago's Sears Tower will be renamed Willis Tower after an incoming tenant, according to a press release from Willis Group Holdings of London.
The insurance broker plans to move 500 associates into 140,000 square feet of space on multiple floors of the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere.
"Having our name associated with Chicago's most iconic structure underscores our commitment to this great city, and recognizes Chicago's importance as a major financial hub and international business center," said Joseph J. Plumeri, chairman and CEO of Willis Group Holdings, in the press release.
http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/local&id=6705997
The insurance broker plans to move 500 associates into 140,000 square feet of space on multiple floors of the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere.
"Having our name associated with Chicago's most iconic structure underscores our commitment to this great city, and recognizes Chicago's importance as a major financial hub and international business center," said Joseph J. Plumeri, chairman and CEO of Willis Group Holdings, in the press release.
http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/local&id=6705997
Day Job, American Apparel, and Teen Wolf...
So yea, I'm living in Chicago still, performing humorous actions on stage and off. I just about finished up my press kit stuff that I'll be sending out to agents and managers; as I am hoping to take the next step towards World Domination. In the mean time I need a day job to pay the bills so I jumped online and applied to get a job at the American Apparel store here in town. They ask you to upload 3 photos of yourself so they can get a feel for your personal style. I understand this, but thought it was recockulous, considering they should at least interview you first. So I uploaded two photos of myself and one of Teen Wolf. I figured his best friend was named Styles so if they can figure that out... The Job Should Be MINE!!!
Razzle*
Razzle*
Thursday, March 5, 2009
BREAKING NEWS!! Chris Brown has been charged with TWO FELONIES!!
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AP: Chris Brown has been charged with two felonies, including assault and making criminal offensive and stupid faces while giving the peace sign.
www.TheRazzleShow.com
Saturday, February 21, 2009
THIS JUST IN !! BREAKING NEWS !!
AP reports: Hugh Jackman has dropped out of hosting the Oscars and has just now been replaced by Christian Bale and Chris Brown. Special guest presenter via Phone Call is Beetlejuice actor Alec Baldwin.
tell your friends,
Razzle*
tell your friends,
Razzle*
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
10. He-Man Characters I noticed have borderline sexual names...
He-Man Characters I noticed have borderline sexual names...
1. Stinkor - an anthropomorphic skunk with magical control over his own stench
2. Tung Lashor - has an extra-long tongue that spits poisonous venom
3. Snout Spout- is an elephant-headed Eternian who can squirt water out of his trunk.
4. Hunga - is a harpy who has antagonized She-Ra
5. Extendar - is a mechanized being and Master of Extension
6. Strongarm - is a cyborg with a long metal arm
7. Captain Sticky Fingers - is a Space Pirate
8. Ram man - is a sturdy warrior with poor verbal skills who runs down most of his obstacles
9. Faker - a duplicate of He-Man
and last but not least....
10. FISTO - is an extra-strong warrior with an enlarged metal right hand.
Razzle*
1. Stinkor - an anthropomorphic skunk with magical control over his own stench
2. Tung Lashor - has an extra-long tongue that spits poisonous venom
3. Snout Spout- is an elephant-headed Eternian who can squirt water out of his trunk.
4. Hunga - is a harpy who has antagonized She-Ra
5. Extendar - is a mechanized being and Master of Extension
6. Strongarm - is a cyborg with a long metal arm
7. Captain Sticky Fingers - is a Space Pirate
8. Ram man - is a sturdy warrior with poor verbal skills who runs down most of his obstacles
9. Faker - a duplicate of He-Man
and last but not least....
10. FISTO - is an extra-strong warrior with an enlarged metal right hand.
Razzle*
Thursday, February 5, 2009
MIT researchers make ‘sixth sense’ gadget...
MIT researchers make ‘sixth sense’ gadget...
Long Beach: US university researchers have created a portable “sixth sense” device powered by commercial products that can seamlessly channel Internet information into daily routines.
The device created by Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) scientists can turn any surface into a touch-screen for computing, controlled by simple hand gestures.
---
Sadly though, it doesn't let you eat lunch with Bruce Willis...
Razzle*
www.TheRazzleShow.com
Long Beach: US university researchers have created a portable “sixth sense” device powered by commercial products that can seamlessly channel Internet information into daily routines.
The device created by Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) scientists can turn any surface into a touch-screen for computing, controlled by simple hand gestures.
---
Sadly though, it doesn't let you eat lunch with Bruce Willis...
Razzle*
www.TheRazzleShow.com
Friday, January 23, 2009
Super Bowl Footballs marked with synthetic DNA.....Seriously? W.T.F?
A Santa Ana, Calif., company says about 120 footballs will be used in Super Bowl XLIII, and all of them will be marked to prevent counterfeiting.
Joe Orlando, president of Professional Sports Authenticator, said his company and the NFL work together to prevent counterfeiting by marking each game ball with a strand of synthetic DNA that can only be seen under a specific laser frequency.
"The DNA ink has an astronomical 1-in-33 million chance of being accurately reproduced by counterfeiters," said Orlando, author of "Collecting Sports Legends."
----
My guess is that there is also a 1-in-33 million chance that Joe has ever gotten laid.
Tell your friends,
Razzle*
www.TheRazzleShow.com
Joe Orlando, president of Professional Sports Authenticator, said his company and the NFL work together to prevent counterfeiting by marking each game ball with a strand of synthetic DNA that can only be seen under a specific laser frequency.
"The DNA ink has an astronomical 1-in-33 million chance of being accurately reproduced by counterfeiters," said Orlando, author of "Collecting Sports Legends."
----
My guess is that there is also a 1-in-33 million chance that Joe has ever gotten laid.
Tell your friends,
Razzle*
www.TheRazzleShow.com
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Shirts and other stuff...
working on getting some gigs at rock venues amongst other crowds, working on getting some t-shirts. Workin on some other things... I'll keep you posted. Below is 1 of the t-shirt designs I'm toying around with. I'll post another one tomorrow..
Tell your friends,
Razzle*
Tell your friends,
Razzle*
Saturday, January 10, 2009
3 things I learned not to pull out of your pocket on a first date..
Many of you may remember being taught from School House Rock that 3 is a magic number. This is truth. Not only does death seem to come in threes but so do misplaced objects. I found this out on a date last night.
3 things I've learned not to pull out of your pocket during a first date:
A coupon to GameStop, a USB flash drive, and a piece of Kryptonite.
Tell your friends,
Razzle*
3 things I've learned not to pull out of your pocket during a first date:
A coupon to GameStop, a USB flash drive, and a piece of Kryptonite.
Tell your friends,
Razzle*
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
On top of a CKT, I'm also taking it intimate...
While working on booking a college tour, I'm also working on booking some more intimate Pubs & Clubs..
Thursday, December 11, 2008
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