Alien Vs. Sexual Predator Vs. Michael Phelps.

There are two types of people in this world. Always.

This common phrase works for every situation. Anytime you are discussing a topic with two sides, you can use this statment in your favor:

"Two Kinds of People"

There are people who save their money, and spend it wisely,
And there are people who spend their money frivously

There are people who go to college to become a successful lawyer, because they feel they have what it takes. And then there are people who go to college and feel they are good enough to claim that they are the beer pong champion of the world.

There are people who look as though they do drugs..
then there are people like myself who like their mother was the one using drugs.

There are people who when drunk, act really really stupid.
Then there are people who when drunk, all of a sudden become scholars on philosophy.

There are people who ride a roller coaster & feel the need to pull the safety bar 2 extra clicks down to cause uncomfort to the other passenger..
Then there are people who get stuck riding in the same cart as a fat guy in which case the bar stops 10 inches from their lap……

There are two kinds of people..

There are people who believe "Children are our Future" and have lots of children.
And then there are people I wish wouldn’t reproduce at all.

Condoms ladies and gentlemen, please use them. They aren’t just to protect from S.T.Ds and getting pregnant, they’re also to protect the rest of the world from dealing with your potentially stupid offspring.

Which brings me to my favorite..

There are people who are reserved, who won’t have sex until after the 3rd or 4th date & then there are people like my old roomate who would pretty much bang anything that moves.

He’s like the Tyranosaurus Rex of Sexual Predators.

So if you're at a party with him, are dude, and not gay... stand perfectly still. Because it’ll be just like Jurassic Park in that Bitch! "He'll Spare no expense."

I’m sure some of you have similar friends, instead of a 1-10 scale,
they have a 80-1000 ..... pound scale,

I’m not joking either when I say he’s like a T-Rex.

He’s really really tall, and has really really short arms.

Everytime He goes to spoon with a girl he grabs her shoulder.