Imaginary Hangovers : My body is not a Slumberland! by: John Mayer

I recently read that students who attend M.I.T. were going to speak at a hacker convention in Las Vegas and disclose security flaws that would allow you to ride Boston's Public Transportation System for free.

I have a better idea, instead of learning how to count cards for money, or ride around town for free, how about you geniuses join MENSA, meet some other smart people, and then invent a SLEEPING CHAMBER of sorts that would provide REFRESHING, TIRELESS MORNINGS, that don't cause you to feel like what I imagine a hangover feels like every time you wake up.

I know I am not the only one who hates waking up. I also hate sleeping as many of you know. I believe it to be a waste of time. Unfortunately sleep is a necessity, and not waking up after going to sleep would be a bad thing. This is my predicament. There has to be a way to make waking up more enjoyable besides getting to bang Jennifer Aniston like John Mayer gets to do. I'm not him. So I don't have that luxery.

A sleeping chamber is my thought, perhaps it stimulates the nerves into thinking your asleep when actually you are just in a daze. They have the ability to fake sunlight and give you a tan, as well put sunlight in medicinal form so your brain thinks you're not depressed, how about electrically tricking our brain to be asleep so we get the nourishment and battery recharging while we are actually awake and accomplishing things.

It would be like a science fiction movie. And speaking of movies, while your at it, invent me a jetpack, hoverboard, and Nike Tennis Shoes that tie themselves. It's already 2008 and 2015 is only 7 years away.

How about instead of NASA sending robots to MARS to look for water, or China spending 300 Million Dollars on an "Orympic Arena", why don't they invest that money into building something else from BACK TO THE FUTURE 2. It's called 'Mr. Fusion'.

Don't mess with off shore drilling or using farm land for corn gas when you can drive 88mph from New York to Denver and power your car with a can a beer and a banana peel. As Leo Dicaprio said in The Aviator, "It's the way of the future".

All our gas and bad economy problems could be solved if we had a way to mimick sleep, which would give us all a more productive morning, to do our part in creating a better future and environment. Mr. FUSION = Mr. FUTURE.

and when I say 'Mr. Future'

I mean a future with Jetpacks, Jaws 19, Flying Cars, and Deryck Whibley from Sum-41 divorcing Avril Lavigne and her suddenly wanting to marry and procreate with myself.