Two Kinds of People...Part 1.

This will be a new on going thing that I had once prior, only this is a remake of what I have done in the past... Yes, it's o.k. to plagerize oneself.

Over the course of the last 2 weeks, I've learned that there are typically 2 kinds/types of people. People that either cause enjoyment or dislike or distaste or the use of 'or' once more in this sentence. Below I have included a few examples.

There are 2 kinds of people:

There are those that save their money and those that spend their money.

There are those that look like they do drugs, and then there are those(like myself) who looks like his parents were the ones doing the drugs.

There are those people who stop singing once 'Happy Birthday' is finished, and then there are those people who feel the need to continue singing other ricockulous birthday themed songs preventing me from partaking in the cake and ice cream consumption at that given moment. Hey, People Singing! Stop! Nobody likes when you sing that "How old are you song" We get it. We know how old they are! It says on the fraking cake. Didn't you bother to look at it? SHUT UP! Let the birthday person blow out the damn candles, perhaps they are trick candles which will result hysterics. Stop please, I'm quite hungry and that Superman Ice cream looks delicious..

Lastly,

There are people who are good drivers, and then there are those who are bad drivers.

Now, you're probably saying, "Razzle, there are quite a few different types of bad drivers" and this is true. There are the Teenagers, Women, Blacks, Old Black Women, Chinese, and the punk rockers with mohawks so tall they need to tilt the seat back and drive with there head cocked to the side so they're hawk won't get smashed. Yeah, That's real punk rock fellas, I love punk music, I used to be in a punk band, but something about waking up 2 hours early and having 3 people assist you with your hair so you can show up to the Warped Tour with a perfect hairstyle seems to contradict everything Punk Rock is about. I suggest going with a shorter one that you can manage on your own.

Anyways, these are the bunch.. but that's not my intention in this posting..

You see, those above are just the bottom feeders of an Amway Pyramid Geneological Driving Tree that stems from 3 main sorces.

The Foundation and Cause of all Bad Driving results from these 3 demographics:

- Middle age women (Lagers) who endlessly put on make up while talking on the cell phone most likely about all of their stupid plush stuffed animals they have sitting on the dashboard while their Catholic Crown sits all alone in the back window aside from there Garfield doll from '93 suctioned cupped to the back window.

- The old people with Cokebottle glasses that are sitting on a phonebook, with the wheel blocking there vision and a bubble compass the size of a soupbowl mounted on their dashboard.

And last but not least,

- People with some sort of Religious Bumper sticker pasted somewhere on their automobile. You could be the best driver in the world, but once your car gets tagged with a religious sticker its all down hill. I don't care if you're a Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddist, or Satan Worshiper, they cause horrible driving. You could be an Athiest with a sticker that reads "I don't believe in a god" stuck to the bumper, and 99% of the time, you'll also 'Not Believe in Obeying the Rules of the Road'.

I was driving one time, and seen someone in a car with a sticker that read 'Buda is my co-pilot'. First of all, No he's not. He wouldn't be able to fit in the passenger seat of your mini-cooper let alone buckle up. Besides the fact that I'm pretty sure Buda believed in giving pedestrians the right of way instead of trying to plow them down with your impression of 'The Italian Job'. I also seen one car who refused to use their blinker with a sticker that said, "Jesus Drives This Prius". I mean seriously, if Jesus is really driving it should read "Jesus Drives a Prius Badly". I mean really, he can walk on water, turn water into wine, but doesn't know how to use his turn signal? Perhaps Jesus is driving the Prius, however he just left a wedding where he consumed massive amounts of water turned into wine and decided he'd leave early... But then I thought about it further and came to the conclusion that he wouldn't be driving a Prius at all. Jesus was a carpenter... He would most likely drive an 1987 Chevy S-10. Perhaps even with a bumper sticker that reads "No Fat Chicks"... Sorry ladies, looks like no heaven for you... Wait a minute... Perhaps it didn't mean Jesus as in our savior, but 'Jesus' as in "Hey Zues" and that would totally make sense, because Zues was a closet gay. And in my experience, so are Priuses.

Tell your friends.

Razzle*
www.TheRazzleShow.com